Here are nine simple ways to have a beautiful day with a healthy dose of appreciation during conflicts:
- A simple Thank You can bring spouse closer. If he is working & she is the housewife, then it’s clear he is earning or being a provider in some way. It doesn’t matter if he is hard working to be a provider or hardly working but taking care of her daily needs on a personal basis. Be it running to chemist & getting medicine or running other arrons for you. Say thank you for the next Arron he does for you. Be aware of opportunities to thank your spouse for the efforts they make in creating a wonderful life with you. Not everyone can afford such a luxury. He can appreciate her for bringing a smile on his face. You know you will have plenty of moments ahead in life with her where she will be unconditionally standing by to support you & will be a true friend who is much intense than a friend. So thank her for her loving actions.
- Speak proudly of your spouse to others. Are you complaining about your spouse to your parents, family, and friends or even to spouse that you are not worthy to be my spouse or I did a favor to you by marrying you? Instead of complaining start appreciating one good thing about your spouse from today. Let others know one good thing about your spouse today you are proud. This can be her carrying herself confidently or making an effort to adjust with your family. She may be a good host to your friends, or you may feel proud in front of friends due to her good looks so speak proudly about her. This is one of those great opportunities to lift your lover’s confidence by shouting your admiration to the world. Make sure he/she is within earshot first, or your words will have less impact. She can speak proudly about he manages business, family or staff. How he takes cares of each person needs & is willing to help others. If he can help others why he will not help you if you let him know what emotional support you need from him. I’m so proud of him!” is an excellent example of proudly speaking words of appreciation.
- Don’t overbook downtime. Connecting to the family & friends are important but giving quality time to your spouse is equally essential. Like if you have set rule in a joint family to sit with the entire family for hours together as a family, then make a point of having an hour of alone time with spouse as quality time unconditionally. You will not miss on joint family hour no matter what if the world is going gaga same way no matter how many arguments you are having with spouse create a quality time aside in which just both of you are laughing & having good times. Occasionally get together with friends or fun family adventures are undoubtedly necessary and a healthy component to living a life of joy. Just be respectful of your spouse and how they would like to spend their time off. If you overbook downtime then spouse’s needs once elicited feelings of nurture and compassion; now those same hurts tempt us toward bitterness and regret.
- Smile when you look at the spouse, or you know you are about to enter into an argument. Her smile can elevate his mood. He may forget the last night they were having if she smiles her smile can melt the ice of his anger. Body language speaks volumes. You may be wholly engrossed in cooking breakfast, but if your spouse approaches you only to find a scowl on your face that will no doubt send the message that you’re irritated or upset with them. Whenever you come face to face with your spouse, look them in the eye and smile. It’s so simple and can change the mood of a conversation, literally pouring new life into your marriage. He can talk in her ear that he cares for her immensely.
- Listen intently; show an interest in what he/she says. Instead of one line remark or sarcasm after your spouse shared his feeling about you if you, please go back to his/her words & internalize what he meant by it or what is that he/she wants unless this sentence was said in anger because in anger what spouse is saying is provoking the worst out of you. When we show zero interest in what our spouse has to say, we are essentially telling them we don’t value them as a person. My husband loves to talk about the latest technology and politics. If I’m not careful to pay close attention to what he’s saying, my eyes soon glaze over, and my mind will wander. He’s no fool. He can see it happening. Thankfully, he knows me well and understands how my brain shuts down with certain subjects. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s hurtful, though. If you don’t know anything about what your spouse is talking about, make it a point to ask lots of questions and get interested in it. Let them know you care about what they care. You would want them to do the same for you.
- Submit to each other. Wives, submit to your husbands & husband to wife. Often misunderstood, the whole issue of submitting to your spouse means for wives to love and respect their husbands as the leader or head of the home in some way and husbands are to love their wives abundantly, putting her well being above all other things. This sign of appreciation indeed is the key to a loving, happy marriage. Putting other person needs in priority is submission. Your spouse is human; therefore, they stumble—and not just once or twice, but in many ways. This means that, instead of focusing on the occasional disappointment, I can be grateful for the affirmative acts of love: every spouse stumbles, but not every spouse acts so kindly.
- Connect intimately. Often when having fights which lead to separation has a point that couple complains about that we have no intimacy. The problem with today’s lifestyle & work pressure is that there not much time left for affection & admiration. You may not realize it, but making love is a symbol of appreciation. It’s also a huge factor in keeping the spark alive in your marriage. Spending one-on-one time together is vital. If you do nothing else on this list, make sure you are giving yourself intimately to your spouse. Don’t wait for them to make a move. Initiate time together. It’s not always sexual intimacy either. Truly connecting means loving your spouse both physically and emotionally.
- Practicing Gratitude: Research shows that found connecting with people different from us broadens our compassion and awareness and deepens our sense of community—and we get to know people who don’t have the things we take for granted, it gives us an even deeper appreciation for what we do have. People who are grateful are more satisfied with their relationships with friends and family. They’re happier, less depressed and less stressed. They feel more in control of their lives, have higher self-esteem and cope better when things get tough. We have a loving family; we have essential amenities of life at our disposal, we have what most others people will never have in their entire life, We have bonded family who will guide our children & provide a good upbringing to them. We can do any work we want; we can go anywhere we want, we can be what we want to be in life, we have it all what we have ever dream. We have a loving spouse who loves us, but somewhere we pushed our spouse because of our behavior or circumstances. So have gratitude that there is still time we can be a happy couple & start practicing gratitude to the spouse that he/she is still there in your life so you can change yourself to be a better spouse
- Accept the Reality of Your frustration. We’re not called to judge our spouses—ever. We are called to love them. We are not called to recount their failures in a Pharisaic game of “I’m smarter than you”—we’re called to encourage them. We are not called to build a case against them regarding how far they fall short of being our spouse—we are called to honor and respect them.